Dr. Haykin sent this to me some time last year. It’s so funny that I thought I’d repost it:

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. –
Sam Brobst took a “Learning Your Spiritual Gift” course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.
“We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, ‘Yar! Hear the word of the Lord – the Lord of the mighty seas!'” says one witness. “It was straight out of a Disneyland ride.

“Brobst says he can’t help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, “Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap’n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein’ your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin’ in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin’ to pour down plenty o’ booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap’n.

The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.”It doesn’t even sound like pirate to me anymore,” says one regular attendee. “My mind translates it.”Others say it’s preferable to past prophetic styles they have witnessed.”One woman would wail her prophecies,” says longtime member Darlene Bright. “Another man would thunder in a deep voice like he was trying to impress us. All in all, I prefer pirate.”


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4 responses to “Argh.

  1. darrin

    Imagine that place on September 19th…International Talk Like a Pirate Day…

    Might make the Toronto Airport look tame! That is just so ridiculous…why aren’t people running for the doors!

  2. Ian

    But at least these guys aren’t saying that it’s the Holy Spirit who’s inspired them to talk that way! I’ll take their Pirate Day over the Toronto Airport any day.

  3. Rogers Meredith

    Better leave your wallets, and your daughters, at home!

  4. Ian

    Don’t tell me you were a pirate!
    Is that a picture of Nevin??

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